Faith Part 2

2.31AM.

Its amazing. Somehow he has shown me that he will see us though. I don't know why and I can't explain!!!!! Just amazingly, despite the dead tiredness, crankiness, kalam kabutness, somehow, somehow things are gonna be alright.

I don't care I have to stick close to him... and my world may fall but I will never EVER let you go...

Thanks Ivan for helping with the P&W today.. you did a great job... :)

Anyone want to lead Praise, do let me know... you can give me a buzz (sms) or drop me an email... don't worry we will guide you... and don't worry, even myself still so nervous everytime I lead!!!

Thanks Fab, Dennis, Core, for doing the sharing. And for all those who came today and those who keep on coming. Charissa, Rachel, Felicia, Ferlyn, Claire,Kim.... so wonderful to see you all. And I so miss those whom I havent seen for some time.. well I think I'll be seeing some of ya tomorow at the Youth Festival.

Well, I'll let ya all know again how the Youth Fest was. Despite all the stuff to do, I somehow am so looking forward to it.

I just want to say, I love you guys. Each and every single one of you. And you know who you are. Each and every single one of you whom I've had the privedge of knowing, whom God has so graciously blessed me with. Coz, seriously, you are the reason.

(: God bless.

Faith

Ive been super busy.

Think im going to drop dead.

Trying my very best to keep the faith and hold myself together and believe that He will see me through all this.

Its so damn difficult!! Stupid human nature.

im so grateful to aunty loo and angeline for helping. God bless your kind souls. you never know how much everything is appreciated. yeah and you guys as well. I know you guys lah. More than you think you know me. :)

Bwahahahahahah = sobsobsobsobsobsob.

this week especially. i have friday's praise to think about and the session... and then the co-ordinating is killing me. i cant help but sleep late even though i want to sleep early. Im so drained. This and that and this and that. Im screwing things up at work. Making a mess out of my cases, looking real silly and naive in the stuff I'm doing. At work I also have articles to write for the newsletter that is due next week somemore. Hmm, its like I only have passion for this! Always looking forward to the end of the day coz thats when I can do this stuff.
you know, i guess you can never really understand unless you've been in a similar position before.

strangely I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. laughing because, im so happy... i know i'm not doing this for myself.. and i know that somehow, things will turn out alright. and i also know that he is there, right in my heart looking after me but i wonder what he is thinking. am i doing things right or making a mess out of things. whatever it is, somehow this time the faith is much stronger.

crying because.. there's just a tremendous amount of stress. a tremendous amount of things to be done. and barely enough time left over. crying because you keep trying but always there will be screw ups. always... like right now. im about to burst into tears because ive just received news that will blow everything that we've done away. crying because... in the end, no matter how much people are around you, no matter that his Spirit is with you, you always feel so alone.

Post Pre-Confirmation Camp

Camp is over, but its only the beginning!!

I had a great time at camp. It just reaffirms why I love youth and why I am doing this. One thing I wish for - more time so that I could have talked to more people; write more letters.

I went for camp full of excitement.
I went into camp, wondering how the kids would be and praying for my group.
I had to put youth stuff aside and focus on the camp.
I thank God for everything that had happened.

Only 2 kids that I really managed to talk to during the camp - Rochelle and Kendrick.
I guess I was surprised how much they really could open up to me. Rochelle was easier I guess, coz perhaps she is a girl, and one of the two girls that were there earlier on the first day. Kendrick I guess because of the time given for us to pair off at the beach. He really surprised me, because I guess on the very first day, when we sat down to come up with names for our group, when there was only him and Andy, they were really moody and bo chap. But when we went off to talk, we talked about all sorts.. and it was two ways - he asked me questions too and put in effort during the conversation time, towards the end of camp, he wrote me a really sweet thank you note and I was surprised with the stuff that both him and Rochelle shared with me.

Pearl - tries to indimidate me, but I know her secret - she's ticklish!!!
Claire - in my group, attempted talking but she's a bit shy
Edmund - he can play the guitar!!!!! Taught me 'More than words'.
Ferlyn - chatty - kept talking to me here and there and she wrote me a sweet note
Cheryl - fast guitar learner
Amelia - my prayer pal and she was so sweet in her notes
Jeremiah - my other prayer pal - never talked but I think he liked the little something I mysteriously gave him
Gerard - never talked either but we would always smile at each other when we pass in the corridor
Damien - cute lah this guy... sat in front of me with the guitar and just started wacking it away
Andy - my group - hyper lah he... but I think he was touch during P&W on second day

Really really special people they are. I really hope we would be able to follow up with them and that we would see more of them. Hmm, I think after my time with the youth group is up I just might join the cathecists. But I also realised that cathecists and youth are two different things for them.

After that Core Group prayer was fantastic as well. I was quite surprised that we could come together.. and everything flowed nicely - the prayers, to the songs - somehow Annette started singing the song that I wanted, Jesus Lover of my Soul, and James played it with momentum. I think the Holy Spirit must have cued us. I'm just a little worried about something about the core. Really don't know how to tackle it. But I guess, since we are all for God, how it looks to be, just have to keep praying and it all will work out.

Youth Fest is gonna be difficult. Nobody wants go for it really (except Ivan, haha) and worse still, man a stall. They're doing it coz nobody wants to, and coz we have to do it. I hate to make them do something they don't want to, but I can't seem to make them understand or motivate them with the reason why. And I wonder if that should be the way. I was disappointed really that the altar servers would not be joining us too. Oh well.

And Reverend Damien just gave me some more work to do, haha! He himself said it. He called me just now when I was sleeping - I didn't wanna answer but then he called a second time. He's okay I guess. He actually called me to thank me, just that after that he went on to other stuff, yeah, work related stuff, lol. I don't mind the stuff he gave me to do anyway. I guess because, I really love doing all this. I just do. I wish it were easier, as in had more enthusiasm and support from the people, but things are never easy in this way.

And also... I'm starting to LOVE the bible!!! I know myself - not a very good speaker or conversationalist or motivator... but I realised that the bible will help me to speak to people - especially with the ministry that I'm in. The passages - you just gotta discern how God is speaking to you through them and how you can relate to it. That, I think I can do with His help. Fantastic. Gotta read it more.

Camp was like a good getaway!!! Needs more days though. When we reach back to church, I was like, 'ahhhh... now gotta think about youth stuff again' and when I was at the bus stop I was thinking, 'ahhhhh... work tomorow again'. Haha. Oh well, thats life. If it was easy, if it was smooth sailing, then we wouldn't be here. Then we wouldn't be able to prove ourselves worthy of God's love. Then we wouldn't be worthy to be with him. Yeah, I realised that.

Good night! God bless. :o)

Diary of Marie Therese Anthony

Writing down an overview/plan...of things that I have to do/have done so that I won't miss out anything:

June 3rd to June 5th
Pre Confirmation Camp
- Read up bible, read up Catholic values/traditions/practises so am prepared when questions are asked
- Pray, pray, pray

June 18th
Youth Festival at CAYC Lorong Low Koon
- Coordinate with Shaun, altar servers, number of servers going, time going, all go together?
- Coordinate with parents, food, money spent, bus,
- Coordinate with youth members, currently only Ralph, Annette, Marie & Ivan helping... need people for the timeslots (12 - 3pm, 3 to 6pm)
- Get posters made for the camp!
- Call Patrick co-ordinator and find out details about the stalls... coz briefing is Friday, June 3rd at their quarters however, all of us will be at the camp, so no one can make it
- Call Nat and ask her if she got people to help
- Call youth members and invite for festival!!!!
- Update Reverend Damian of all that is happening

Ongoing Friday Prayer Meets
- Read up each Sunday's gospel and from there, pick up a key word that can be used for the topic/session for that week (that way session is based on Sunday's Gospel, and is more fun and interactive rather than just sharing based on the passage)
- Get people to conduct the sessions and make sure they commit
- Get people who are leading to be well prepared and remind them they are leading for that week
- Run through the plan with Reverend so that all is well

August 7th
Reverend Damian's Orination
- Get ideas from group what we are going to do for him
- Call the Co-ordinator from Holy Family and book a slot
- Schedule meeting days for us to practise
- Co-ordinate the group for that day

Other ad-hoc/continuous/upcoming stuff
- Get Ralph to burn last year's and this year's Good Friday's play so that can show the rest of the group/church
- Do not just wait for Ralph to do, ask Natasha/Auntie Loo for help to burn the VCD
- Speak to Reverend about screening it to the church/getting a room to screen it and future VCDs to the youth
- Write some articles/information for the website
- Maintain STYG email account and frienster account
- STYG Anniversary coming up in June/July - to check with past youth leaders the exact date, to organise something for STYG
- Liase with the Children's Ministry (parents)
- Core cell group every Sunday 2pm
- Practise Praise & Worship on guitar
- Prepare for weeks that am leading Praise/conducting sessions
- Read bible/spiritual books (Finish reading My Catholic Dictionary and Purpose Driven Youth Ministry)
- Try to go for weekday mass
- Stay away from sin
- Be prepared for questions from Reverend, people from authority, other groups, miscommunication, misunderstanding, all in all, to stick close to GOD and I will not go wrong
- Motivate and encourage group
- Come up with ideas for outreaching to the youth of our parish
- Christmas - video??? or??
- October - St. Theresa's Food & Fun Fair
- Maintain a pesonal relationship with as many youth as I can
- Continuosly invite youth for prayer meetings activities
- Co-ordinate other activities - badminton - book the court. Cell groups - find out who wants to have cell groups and plan.
- Be prepared for a 3 figure handphone bill
- Be prepared for rebellion/outcry/questions/


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Social activities/plans (other than church):
Badminton after work every Monday
June
- Meet up with Maimunah, go check out skellington shop at Jurong Point
- Watch Mr & Mrs Smith with Regine
- Watch Monster in Law/Madagascar by myself
- Go shopping - Great Singapore Sale by myself

Reach home from work: 7pm, to sleep by 11pm
Mondays - Badminton
Tuesdays - Free after 7pm
Wednesdays - Free after 7pm
Thursdays - Church Talks
Fridays - Prayer Meetings
Saturdays - Work alternate Sats, Sat evenings - Mass, dinner with family
Sundays - Fellowship whole day with the youth

To cancel/withdraw:
- Class 2B Motorbike license
- Jogging/Exercise Plans
- Dance plans

______________________________________

In other words, I am living the full life I'd always wanted, more especially with serving God
In other words, erm, its not as easy as you think, wanna be in my shoes?
In other words, need your prayers, support, encouragement, assistance, co-operation, love.
P.S. Lots of laughter too. :o)

Good night and God bless.