Faith

Ive been super busy.

Think im going to drop dead.

Trying my very best to keep the faith and hold myself together and believe that He will see me through all this.

Its so damn difficult!! Stupid human nature.

im so grateful to aunty loo and angeline for helping. God bless your kind souls. you never know how much everything is appreciated. yeah and you guys as well. I know you guys lah. More than you think you know me. :)

Bwahahahahahah = sobsobsobsobsobsob.

this week especially. i have friday's praise to think about and the session... and then the co-ordinating is killing me. i cant help but sleep late even though i want to sleep early. Im so drained. This and that and this and that. Im screwing things up at work. Making a mess out of my cases, looking real silly and naive in the stuff I'm doing. At work I also have articles to write for the newsletter that is due next week somemore. Hmm, its like I only have passion for this! Always looking forward to the end of the day coz thats when I can do this stuff.
you know, i guess you can never really understand unless you've been in a similar position before.

strangely I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. laughing because, im so happy... i know i'm not doing this for myself.. and i know that somehow, things will turn out alright. and i also know that he is there, right in my heart looking after me but i wonder what he is thinking. am i doing things right or making a mess out of things. whatever it is, somehow this time the faith is much stronger.

crying because.. there's just a tremendous amount of stress. a tremendous amount of things to be done. and barely enough time left over. crying because you keep trying but always there will be screw ups. always... like right now. im about to burst into tears because ive just received news that will blow everything that we've done away. crying because... in the end, no matter how much people are around you, no matter that his Spirit is with you, you always feel so alone.