Sad but I'm okay coz God is taking care of me

Hi! If you've wondering how I've been, I've been sad but okay!
Yeah I'm still unhappy with work. On Tuesday I was on MC and when I came back on Wed I had to pressies on my table – cool right… but not what you think. From Wednesday to Fri my colleaugue was on leave, and then on Wednesday her customer called me and then started screaming and shouting at me until I couldn't take it. I shan't go into details coz you know how it is with blogs people can obtain your link and then start making a fuss. All I will say is I was sad. Then Friday both my colleaugues and managers were on leave, you can imagine I was all alone (we had a new executive but she is new, cannot expect her to know everything or answer all the phone calls) so there was I struggling with all the phone calls. Customers kept calling to enquire and the thing is they could not wait (don't they know I have to keep on answering phone calls every second and they are not my ONLY customers!!) they kept calling to find out the outcome, I could not attend to my other cases, I was terribly dead beat at the end of the day, I did not attend praise. However amidst all this, amidst some people at work who think that I'm silly and waste their time, there were some people who were so helpful and prompt that they really made my day. I really thank God and I could see that God was present through them helping me get through my day. And then thoughout the week I met my mom almost everyday after work for dinner and I must say she was really my sunshine. She lit up my day. Ian was right to say she is the new person in my life. I don’t know why, I just felt so happy when I saw her. Don't ever take your love ones for granted ok. It's not as though my mom is not living with us anymore or that I had not been spending time with her. I don’t know, I guess God sent her to be there for me and that I saw God in her – I saw that God provided her to brighten up my day – I guess its also because I love her and she is my strength and support. Yeah so it also really pains me to see her in pain – she has some problems with her knees and feet. Everytime she walks she is in pain – just shooting pain or her feet becomes numb. And I feel so helpless really… all I can do is try to be nice to her and a good daughter and pray for her. And at the same time, I know my best friend is having problems of his own – being saboed at work, and then just this week he sms me that he is having some health problems too – oh boy. I haven't really been able to meet him recently coz Im so busy but I hope he knows that I've been praying for him and am with him in spirit, and will always be there for him if he needs me. Same goes for my other friend who is having some financial difficulties. She asked me to meet for lunch today through sms. I did not reply immediately and instead deleted her msg first as my inbox was full. Later when I replied, I replied to her old number, and I did not know it! I said I could meet her for lunch at a nearby coffeeshop just that I had to go back to church at 2pm. She did not reply. Today she sms again and said how come I did not reply to her msg, was I busy? I was shocked and then I realise that I smsed her old number! Ok, I did not know how to explain all this through sms, so I waited for later, and then I had a lot of stuff to carry and was on the bus – when I came down from the bus and was walking to my block, I saw her! Oh my goodness. I tried explaining to her, I think she did not understand but said its ok, she figured I was busy, and that she actually wanted to meet for dinner. She was with her other friend. Oh great, I hate all this misunderstandings. She thinks I did not want to meet her and thus did not reply. Sigh. Don’t know what to make of this "fate" "coincidence" thingy, that I msg to the wrong number without me knowing, and then before I could reply, I met her face to face. Its like things are trying to mess themselves up. Nvm, I’ll meet up and make it up to her soon. Today I was happy. You know, I don’t know how some people whom you know can totally ignore you or be so cold to you. Also, sometimes during the peace time, you turn to give people the sign of peace and you can see their eyeballs move totally pass you. As in, bypass you, ignore you. Sometimes I just feel like waving in their faces and saying out loud, "Peace be with you!" until they react. Heehee. I mean, its sad that we are supposed to be equal and all children and brothers and sisters in Christ and there you have it people from your own community treating you like non existent. Sometimes, yes even up to now, I feel really sad and left out and out of place and I always wonder why I'm doing here and I lament to God. And then sometimes with other people I feel alright. Like last week, when he sent 2 special people to talk to me and make me laugh and take my mind off things. He also reassured me today. Friday I felt like shit and I'm beginning to wonder if this is going to be like a trend every Friday. But just now when we met as a core to pray it was really wonderful. And it was fun afterward just like last week. And during mass also. I was sitting alone and then suddenly at the start of the mass, Ian and Agnes came in and sat beside me. At these two instances I really felt encouraged, I really felt that God is providing for me, that he is showing me that I am not alone in my struggles of this world, that there are people there who are for him and who share the same sentiments as me. Sigh I’ve kinda accepted my fate. But now I've come to realise that THAT is not what matters. What matters is God. What matters is, even if some people show that they don't care, there are others, whom I may not even be close with, but will be there for me should I just call for help, either to them directly or to God. And for that I'm really grateful. I am so looking forward to doing his work with this renewed conviction! And right now.. it doesn’t matter that I will not get my wishes answered for my birthday, as they might be material. Coz right now all I want for my birthday is for my mom's pain to go away PERMANENTLY and for me to get another job PLEASE! I just want a job I can enjoy and I'm afraid I cannot take this job any longer. Yup! And thus with all this said, I go to sleep. Good night and God bless!