Miserable? Me?

Played badminton on monday. Super fun coz I was taught the ropes by a kinda experienced player. Usually instead of hitting the shuttlecock I hit the air. I played till my fingers and soles of my feet had and still has blisters. Arms all aching. Didn't really feel em until now. Hope to make it a point to play every week. Badminton is a great way to exercise. A little bit of running already I huff and puff and blow you away!!! Haha. Can't wait to cycle again soon. I guess cycling will help me with my balancing of the motorbike. And I will get the license I don't care.. well, I have the rest of my life to do it haha.

Work is still the same, damn it. Worse actually. I can't seem to complete stuff. I stayed back today till 8.40pm also couldn't finish all the stuff I have to. 'She' is supposed to be back tomorow. Though I keep imagining what a dread it would be to hear her say 'WAH' this 'WAH' that and 'WHY' this and that so irritating but she better be back soon and take back her stuff. ARRGGHH! Can you imagine... us suffering with her stuff... and I only have one bloody leave day left... for the life of me I have no idea how come.. I had 2 last month and don't recall using up any leave days from that two.. and instead of gaining I'm losing... but work hasn't settled yet so I don't know how I can take leave... perhaps I will collapse at work, hmm, maybe that will do..

yeah I'm in a pretty pissed off mood you can see..

just now I came back and started playing guitar and I heard this really grumpy scary sounding voice telling me to 'SHUT UP' can you imagine and I was playing P&W somemore.. singing the song in my head - me from :) become :(

work is terrible and outside life... just as terrible... my best friend is suffering just like me and I cant do anything about it...and its worse coz he's such a good person... my other good pal is overseas... mai is busy with school... ive got a whole ton of forgotten friends im supposed to meet but can seem to squeeze into my stupid busy schedule.. I can't go on a bloody holiday coz Ive got no money, no leave days and no company.. my work pals don't seem to understand what I'm going through neither are they going through the same thing as me.. perhaps they have a better way of handling things....church people are either too old or too young and I've never felt included anyway... and I feel like I'm screwing things up and making a mess out of everything...

Life is.. miserable right now. I wish I could feel what I felt during Easter vigil mass. Total joy happiness and peace. I really wish that with all my heart.