Lamentations...
You know, how I wish I could just get on with life – without having to work.. without having to fulfil responsibilities and stuff. But it doesn’t work that way.
Today my colleague said this about me: “Finally she’s smiling” coz finally I manage to complete some work (about 1/3) and it was like a burden lifted really. Reminded me of not too long ago, think about 2-3 weeks back.. another friend of mine said “It’s good to see you smiling” haha.. and I was like you mean I don’t smile at all! And he was like I always seem bothered.
Work is terrible now and I don’t think its just because my colleague is on MC for two weeks, but suddenly there is a surge in feedback. Quite chialat, but so far I am able to survive.. I have been surviving.. no choice right.. but on Monday I was at my worst.. now I know why people are driven to do what they do.. such as entertain thoughts of ------ ??? which I shan’t say. I really felt as though there was no hope and that I was doomed and I had nowhere to go. Amazingly I am still here today. Haha…
I’m just glad that the aircon went off yesterday, thus HR declared that we could go off earlier (5pm). Even if I wanted to stay back I couldn’t coz firstly no one else was staying back, secondly if I stayed I would have died from the heat. Someone mentioned that the electricity and aircon going off was an ‘act of God’. I believe it could be so.. at least my case.. hehe… this started on Sat.. and although on Sat I was desperate for it to come back for me to be able to complete my work, I saw the advantages.. phone line off, connection off.. time to be able to type some cases and later just copy and paste… and by being left off early, I was able to go for mass and visit Jesus in the adoration room. It was really wonderful especially since he is the only one I can rely on and I seem to have neglected him too.
Other than that I am really enjoying life at work and my work pals aside from the work itself that I have to do. As I’ve mentioned my two closest pals at work make it fun and interesting we have a lot of laughs and our friendship has carried on outside of work in the sense that we can go out and talk about other stuff and things like that. I wonder how it will be like once my ‘irritating colleaugue’ comes back to work next Monday. Yup that’s how I’ve labelled her. I may sound bad, but life is perfectly good at work without her, even though there is extra workload. I do not have someone constantly opening her eyes wide like a goldfish (literally) looking at my computer screen, someone checking up on me telling me to do this and that, how I should I have done this and that, someone who wants to be better than me, appearing to ‘backstab’ me and always going straight to our Reporting Officer telling her stuff about me. Do you know that the steamboat outing we all were suppose to have was because this irritating colleague went to manager to say that she felt tension between us and because of that manager felt we should have a bonding session. Goodness and I thought it was because of Chinese New Year. Someone constantly breathing down my neck and trying to convert me into a Christian?? Hello… just because I don’t talk about God as openly as you do does not mean He is not in my life??
I thought I could just ignore her and be happy but I can’t, coz she notices that I am not so ‘friendly’ and tells the manager so. I guess I have to be civil. And thinking about it aren’t we supposed to love our enemies. Gee. Lord please help me with this. Life is perfect with my other colleagues though and I thank God each and every day for providing me with such pals. But I always wonder why is it that I always seem to click with my work colleagues better than with my friends from other places. With work people I can be myself, a joker, act silly, talk nonsense, and yet be serious at the same time. With other friends from elsewhere, I tend to be quiet and rather stay in the background. Sigh. I don’t really know what’s my purpose in life. I don’t really know what God wants of me. All I know is that he loves me very much and he has shown me time and again and yet I am always straying always disillusioned and always confused and arrggghhh I seem to have neglected ----!!!! And work is killing me!! I want to enjoy life but I am not!! Ahhhh my God… my God…
P.S. Oh yeah.. and if you’re my friend, and reading this… I know that I am pretty immature sometimes in what I say or do.. and sometimes don’t behave my age (unintentionally), but please don’t ever talk to me like I’m a little girl. I can’t stand it really. Thanks.
Today my colleague said this about me: “Finally she’s smiling” coz finally I manage to complete some work (about 1/3) and it was like a burden lifted really. Reminded me of not too long ago, think about 2-3 weeks back.. another friend of mine said “It’s good to see you smiling” haha.. and I was like you mean I don’t smile at all! And he was like I always seem bothered.
Work is terrible now and I don’t think its just because my colleague is on MC for two weeks, but suddenly there is a surge in feedback. Quite chialat, but so far I am able to survive.. I have been surviving.. no choice right.. but on Monday I was at my worst.. now I know why people are driven to do what they do.. such as entertain thoughts of ------ ??? which I shan’t say. I really felt as though there was no hope and that I was doomed and I had nowhere to go. Amazingly I am still here today. Haha…
I’m just glad that the aircon went off yesterday, thus HR declared that we could go off earlier (5pm). Even if I wanted to stay back I couldn’t coz firstly no one else was staying back, secondly if I stayed I would have died from the heat. Someone mentioned that the electricity and aircon going off was an ‘act of God’. I believe it could be so.. at least my case.. hehe… this started on Sat.. and although on Sat I was desperate for it to come back for me to be able to complete my work, I saw the advantages.. phone line off, connection off.. time to be able to type some cases and later just copy and paste… and by being left off early, I was able to go for mass and visit Jesus in the adoration room. It was really wonderful especially since he is the only one I can rely on and I seem to have neglected him too.
Other than that I am really enjoying life at work and my work pals aside from the work itself that I have to do. As I’ve mentioned my two closest pals at work make it fun and interesting we have a lot of laughs and our friendship has carried on outside of work in the sense that we can go out and talk about other stuff and things like that. I wonder how it will be like once my ‘irritating colleaugue’ comes back to work next Monday. Yup that’s how I’ve labelled her. I may sound bad, but life is perfectly good at work without her, even though there is extra workload. I do not have someone constantly opening her eyes wide like a goldfish (literally) looking at my computer screen, someone checking up on me telling me to do this and that, how I should I have done this and that, someone who wants to be better than me, appearing to ‘backstab’ me and always going straight to our Reporting Officer telling her stuff about me. Do you know that the steamboat outing we all were suppose to have was because this irritating colleague went to manager to say that she felt tension between us and because of that manager felt we should have a bonding session. Goodness and I thought it was because of Chinese New Year. Someone constantly breathing down my neck and trying to convert me into a Christian?? Hello… just because I don’t talk about God as openly as you do does not mean He is not in my life??
I thought I could just ignore her and be happy but I can’t, coz she notices that I am not so ‘friendly’ and tells the manager so. I guess I have to be civil. And thinking about it aren’t we supposed to love our enemies. Gee. Lord please help me with this. Life is perfect with my other colleagues though and I thank God each and every day for providing me with such pals. But I always wonder why is it that I always seem to click with my work colleagues better than with my friends from other places. With work people I can be myself, a joker, act silly, talk nonsense, and yet be serious at the same time. With other friends from elsewhere, I tend to be quiet and rather stay in the background. Sigh. I don’t really know what’s my purpose in life. I don’t really know what God wants of me. All I know is that he loves me very much and he has shown me time and again and yet I am always straying always disillusioned and always confused and arrggghhh I seem to have neglected ----!!!! And work is killing me!! I want to enjoy life but I am not!! Ahhhh my God… my God…
P.S. Oh yeah.. and if you’re my friend, and reading this… I know that I am pretty immature sometimes in what I say or do.. and sometimes don’t behave my age (unintentionally), but please don’t ever talk to me like I’m a little girl. I can’t stand it really. Thanks.
posted by Marie Therese @ 1:23 am
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