The Journey Continues...

Hi..

Have you guys read my previous blog... hehe. I read it out and testified during Wednesday prayers last week. And Francis told me yesterday it was well written. *sigh* Maybe I'm better with expressing myself in words.

I don't know why I was so affected by what people told me that week. I guess I tried so hard, and I thought I tried my best, but it was obvious I didn't so much so that what they said struck me so bad. My mind automatically shut itself out. When I went home I broke down though. And the next day as well. Especially when there was no one there for me. But this was one experience where I clung close to him, clung desperately to him. Normally when I feel down or sad, especially when i didn't do things right, I will tend to stray away from him. Coz I would feel as though I'm a bad person how could I carry on to pray. And that was what I wanted to do that week. I didn't wanted to lead anymore. I wanted to boycott formation. These were some of the thoughts running through my head. But instead I went to Him in prayer, and I clung on to him despite feeling so shitty and so alone. And I finally saw the direction. The next day Monday was no better. Even though I prayed, I was feeling so sad when I thought about the events that happened. I was on half day leave that day.

When I came to work, I couldn't really work well, so towards the end of the day, I was writing that blog 'Crushed' and I was practically crying as I wrote it.. choked with emotions. And then, after writing, I saw that email about God. It was amazing. Although I took some time to realise it, as I was pretty sad, I knew at once that God had heard me, God had spoken to me and God was comforting me. It was worth much more than any human being comforting me or being there for me. This was one time that I stuck by Him and didn't run away no matter how much I wanted to. My tears of sorrow turned into tears of pure joy. I couldn't contain myself and had to go to the toilet for privacy haha.. and thank Him and praise Him. And I really hope that this gives you inspiration to stay with Him no matter what coz He won't EVER let you down... hehe :o)

Last Friday another amazing thing happened. I was sitting away at work.. in fact the past few days I was thinking of how to send my resume, since the lady replied me on Tuesday but my resume was in my crashed PC. Our wonderful God suddenly made me discover something... and he also put it in my mind that my resume was saved in my hotmail account when I sent it out to previous companies before! How amazing is He. I really feel so blessed and I really hope that he will help me to achieve what I'm supposed to do, since anyway, I know that this is what he wants me to do... been praying for it for weeks and suddenly it came to me :) hehe... so, so happy...

Anywayz,
other than that.. I've been so busy... I almost regret blewing that huge amount of money on the gym since I can't make full use of it that much...
I thank Him that the meeting went well yesterday... was praying SO hard that it wouldn't be a screw up like the previous time.
Today, am going to Anisah's house to accompany her break her fast and look at the wedding pictures. Yams and Bhavani also coming, am so happy to be able to catch up with them.
Tomorow I think prayers are still on.
Speaking about prayers, last week Friday I had a wonderful time playing Praise & Worship!!! Yeah, even though I didn't really start playing, I hope you guys were not disappointed with me coz right now I really am not going to let anyone put me down haha. Of course, I'm working towards it. Everyday I'm having a fantastic time playing in His presence, and playing a wonderful sounding guitar - Dennis's precious $600 Admira guitar which I was so surprised he lent me on his own accord for Praise and then extended the 'lending' till this Friday.... THANK YOU DENNIS... it means so much that you trust me enough to lend me, and also because it's such a wonderful guitar to play to Him...and I know its really your precious guitar.. and of course, yeah that first time I had to open my mouth and ask Dennis if I could borrow... this proves the saying "ask and you shall receive". Of course, always lift everything up to God too and he will help you... hehehehe... Thank you once again Dennis, if you ever read this :)

Also, Thursday I have my 3rd session of Exotic Dance. Yeah, I'm taking Exotic Dance man! Surprise surprise. What kind of image does this potray of me? Haha... Yesterday I was sharing with Francis that I had signed up for the classes and he was like it was good to try different things. I agree. I was thinking to myself earlier, whats a Catholic girl, or rather a girl who's trying to be a good Catholic doing learning exotic dance haha...but then I thought, so what... I can go and dance at the disco clubs and convert all those guys!!! Yeah!!! hahahahaaaaaaa...

Speaking of that, I am going clubbing at DBLO again this Friday. Am looking forward to it, yes I am this time around. Must have a balance of work and play, but of course, have God right on top of everything. This Sat 29 Oct is Halloween!! Hehe... I remember when I was in sec school, I use to wish that I was old enough to go clubbing on Halloween coz it seemed so fun, and now when I'm ancient I'm finally doing it. Anyway, I'm gonna ask my angel to protect me coz even though I'm not going to get drunk, and am going to limit myself to only 3 shots, you never know what might happen. And I know all will be well. Coz I have Him. :o)

God bless,
Love,
~ Marie