Crushed...

Ok, so I’m back. I’m feeling pretty down and sad.

There are two paths in a journey - the short one and the long one.
From where you are at, you see that the short path is easy, fun, and that there is happiness all the way right to the end. The long path, however, is filled with difficulties and struggles and pain. You cannot see anything at the end because it is too far away. Which path do you take?

Too many times I’ve taken the short path. Unfortunately, as it is short, the happiness is short-lived as well. The fun ends when you reach the end of the path. Then, there you realised that there is only a dark abyss of emptiness.

I’ve chosen the long path this time around. I can’t see anything at the end because it is too far away, but I have faith and believe in the everlasting. The pain and the journey is too long and difficult and it is so easy to turn back and take the short path. But, no, I trudge on, holding on to the promise that he made to me.

The voices ring in my head…

“never -------... no -------... ------------“

Sheer disappointment that you can see expressed.

The voices keep on ringing in my head. I’ve no choice but to shut myself out lest I break down. And I do.

I stand and I cry in the rain.
I stand and I cry in my pain.
I kneel and I cry in the still of the night.
I kneel and I cry for him to make everything all right.

I look back at all those times. It’s back to being alone again.
I’m an outsider looking in at all the fun and laughter, the friendship and love, the sharing and the support.
I’m an outsider that never really belonged.

I knew this was going to happen. Tried my best to prevent it. Prayed. And yet it happened. I can’t go back. All I can do is move forward. The good thing is, he has finally shown me the way. The good thing is, I’ve never let him go. The good thing is, he is n my heart. The good thing is, he helped me to gather my thoughts. And I know the direction now. I know the clarity. I know that all I need is him, all I have is him, and that he is the only one who cares and loves me.

The bad thing is, the pain still remains. Yes, the wounds might heal but the scars always remains.

And the voices still ring in my head. And my heart is yet to be healed. The journey continues.

And then, I go to my email. And then I see this: (sent by Kemmy)

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HOLDING PATTERNS

Many times God will allow a painful situation or a painful circumstance in
our life to "swallow us up".

This season in our spiritual growth is a holding pattern. We can't move to
the left or the right. All we can do is sit, like Jonah sat in the belly of
that great fish, so God can have our undivided attention and speak to us.

God put Jonah in a holding pattern because He needed to speak to his heart.
Jonah was all alone. There were no friends to call, no colleagues to drop
by, no books to read, no food to eat, no interferences, and no
interruptions. He had plenty of time to sit, think, meditate, and pray.

When we are deep down in the midst of a difficult situation, God can talk to
us. When He has our undivided attention, He can show us the things about
ourselves that we might not otherwise have seen.

A Few Of God's Holding Patterns :

1. When we are sick in your physical body and you have prayed, but God has
not healed you yet, you are in a holding pattern.

2. When you are having problems with your children and you have put them on
the altar, but God has not delivered them yet, you are in a holding pattern.

3. When you have been praying for the salvation of a loved one and they have
not been saved yet, you are in a holding pattern.

4. When you are in a broken relationship and you have given it over to God,
but it has not been restored yet, you are in a holding pattern.

5. When the doors slam shut before you can knock on them, you are in a
holding pattern

When we are deep in the belly of a difficult situation, there are no
interruptions. God has our undivided attention. All we can do is sit, think,
meditate, and pray. We cannot run from God because there are no mountains
that are high enough, valleys that are low enough, rivers that are wide
enough, rooms that are dark enough, or places that are hidden enough from
Him. We must remember three things:

1. The pattern has a purpose

2. The pattern has a plan.

3. The pattern has a process.

So stop struggling and start listening, praying, and trusting. He'll keep
you right where you are until you can clearly hear Him say, "I love you."

Prayer:

"Father, forgive my unbelief. I know you love me and will turn anything
around to benefit me. You have planned nothing for me but victories and I am
ready to receive them regardless of how difficult the path. Amen."

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance
between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand
up to anything.

Be blessed.

A Positive Thought

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet,
your photo would be on it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise
every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere
in the universe, and He chose your heart. What about the Christmas gift He
sent you in Bethlehem, not to mention that Friday at Calvary.

LET'S FACE IT, HE'S CRAZY ABOUT YOU.

God Bless.

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God had just spoken to me. Isn’t our God AWESOME or what. =)