Sept 28

Heya…
Haven’t written in ages. Don’t know if that’s good or bad haha. Was looking through some of my past entries.. a year ago – September 2004. How different am I now since then. For one, I’m so much heavier now sobsob!!! Last year I was 47kg. (I weighed myself at Francis house making chapatti in preparation for last’s year feastday haha – I was reading my blog and recalled) Now I’m 50-51kg!!! Oh my goodness… It’s the job I tell you.. make me put on more weight on my backside. Hahaha…yah, I’m not afraid of saying my weight keke….

Oh yeah, and I started going to the gym. Our company actually gave us 10 free visits in August to California Fitness. It was kinda ok, and I got introduced to ‘Body Combat’ which is now one of my favourite classes. But it didn’t interest me much to sign up with them. One thing, so crowded. Another, don’t know how to use the machines. Then, with the Healthy Lifestyle came about and I visited the booth at Suntec. Got a flyer for Planet Fitness whereby they told me I could sign up for $20 only! Called them and it was $20 for 10 visits within the month of September. It was mid September by then. Managed to pull my 2 funky colleagues to join me keke… and I must tell you I love it. The gym we’ve been visiting is Planet Fitness at Suntec City. Its so spacious and not so many people as California, has more cute and not so bulky trainers… (eye candy haha), and they even have an exclusive ladies section!!! Fantastic. Also, they have my favourite class – body combat – and another new class which I go to, Body Jam, which is a fusion of different dances moves. Yeah, I just might sign up as its end Sept. But it certainly costs a lot. And how in the world am I gonna lose my excess weight haha….

Like I was telling my mom, coz a few years back she was commenting my backside was flat. Just keep on eating, keep on sitting, don’t exercise and you’ll sure to put weight down there, haha, is my advice to those who want a fleshy backside. Hahaha. I was so skinny in sec sch and poly. Look at me now haha!!!

Other than this, life is pretty good. I have been keeping busy. Work as usual takes up most of my time. But seriously, I am getting bored, and am thinking and praying about finding my vocation in life. The funny thing, of late being a deejay is the last thing on my mind. Of course, if I could be one that would be great. But I’m thinking, how could I serve God then. Right now with my office job I have time for the youth. In actual fact, I hate office jobs. I like those ‘floor’ kinda jobs. In fact, when I was doing my internship, I told myself I would never work in an office coz it’s so boring. Ironic isn’t it, that my first job is an office job. But if I take those floor kinda jobs, I can’t be active in church coz usually these jobs require one to work on weekends and public holidays. Haha, I was thinking some more, then I hit it – I would very much like to do social work!! Yeah, haha… that’s my latest. Seriously, I wouldn’t mind becoming a nun if God calls me too. So anyway, I’m still praying and still figuring. Do join me in my prayers.

I think overall I’m balanced. I have a regular relationship with my friends, with my family. I think I need to spend more time praying though. I realise you can never get enough of God you know. The other day, Spet 10, I finally went clubbing with my gal friends/colleagues. It’s always been a dream of mine, to go clubbing but I’ve never had the khaki. Finally, I spent the night out with the gals. I think I shared a jug of vodka lime, had 5 shots of tequila and a tequila pop. You can imagine how I was by then. Haha, you might be able to hold it but, me, being inexperience couldn’t. So anyway, I was pretty tipsy by then and started dancing the night away, even with strangers. And my friends were teasing me about it, saying I was so happy and drunk that I also had my arms flailing around and hit them as well O_o oh my goodness. Anyway, when I was there I did have a lot of fun. I did wanted to dance the night away and couldn’t stop. But the next day I had a bad hangover. My knees were aching from the dancing (luckily the pain went away) and I was feeling kinda whoozy. Also, I didn’t feel too good about it. It started me thinking, clubbing, what I always wanted to do, now that I’m doing it, is it really what I want. I could remember what I was doing and yet I couldn’t. The things that the alcohol made me do or made me wanna do, are not the things I wanna do when I’m sane. I’d rather get high on God and let me tell you the feeling is great. I can just have praise and worship to him with the guitar and I’ll be elated.

Well anyway, life is all about choices. You gotta make the decision, stick with it, and face the consequences good or bad.

A really good friend of mine who sorta disappeared from my life came back into it again. When we drifted apart I was so sad. I started thinking what went wrong but I couldn’t do anything about it. I guess it’s the same when it comes to love ain’t it. If the person doesn’t love you back you gotta let them go. Anyway, you never know whether something better may come your way. In any case, I survived, and I made new friends, and I went on with life. Recently I heard that this friend of mine was in trouble. I guess it was due to bad company. But I started questioning why this friend of mine had to get in trouble and the peeps who supposedly led her into it got away scott free. I just started thinking of her more, especially last Friday. Well, guess what, I saw her in church on Sunday, and I managed to talk to her a bit. God really works wonders. I got her new hp number and I really hope I could catch up with her soon.

I’ve also had the opportunity to spend time with different friends lately, which really makes me happy. The last week of August, where I went for Holy Eucharist Triduum by Fr. Gino Henriques and I had the pleasure of the company of Kemmy on one of the nights for dinner. Then the next night I had the pleasure of both Kemmy and Natasha. The third day I had the great company of Ivan (crappy!! Haha oops) and Shaun. I also met Yams recently, went for a makover and facial together and took a trading card pic and also met up with Sebas. Burger King breakfast with Den and Fran. Oh yeah, and Shine Mary Shine with Shaun and where I got to know a colleague from another department who’s also Catholic. I couldn’t be happier. I guess I just love spending time with people.

Oh and I must say, I finally got the book which I’ve wanted to get for some time now – Catechism of the Catholic Church II – I think with some parts rewritten by the late Pope John Paul II – I saw this book early this year at Times the Bookshop, but as I was getting the Purpose Driven Youth Ministry I decided not to get this. Expensive lah, haha. Told myself I could borrow it or next time when I have money I could buy. Never had the time to go back to Times and when I did the book was no more there. Last week or so, I happened to be browsing the atrium outside NTUC Fairprice Bukit Merah where they were selling second hand books. To my amazement, I saw the book there!! It was $15.90, I think way much cheaper than the original. Guess what, of course I bought it hehe. And it looked very new, save for the fact that the previous owner’s name was liquid papered off. I don’t know when I will have time to read it, as I have many other books on hand, but when I do I can’t wait to delve into it. It’s so amazing to find out more about my religion, which I learnt that Pope John Paul II calls as “a special gift”.

Oh yeah, and I also got introduced to this magazine called ‘Shape’. Never heard of it before. It’s a health and fitness local mag (by SPH) for women hehehe. Think I’m starting to become a fitness freak hehe.

-Pause- (coz time to leave work – yeah, I’m typing this at work hehe)

Sept 29

Heya,
I’m back. Haha. Back in the habit of writing my blog? I dunno… did u miss my entries? Hehe…let me know and I’ll write more haha…

Oh yeah, and so I signed up for the gym yesterday. I ain’t telling you how much coz I think you will be shocked. But I signed up for a month only. Haha – 3rd Oct to 2nd Nov. I gotta go like mad. It’s funny, I was reading my past blogs, (about exactly a year ago) and this was one of the things I wanted to do. Exercise haha. And now I’m doing it. Clubbing was one of the things I wanted to do. And now I’m doing it. (going again this Sat). The funny thing is, you know how you want something so much, coz you feel you like it and you feel that its good for you and all that, but once you actually have it, its not the same. Now I’m actually doing the things I wanted to do a year ago and am I fulfilled? No, actually haha. God is the one fulfilling me. I rather have Praise and worship to him anytime of the day. It’s really so ironic. I’d rather be doing social work then deejaying. I mean, true, you can’t deny the glamour and the fun you get from all these things, but ultimately, deep inside do they fulfil you. I learnt this the hard way when I blew $200 plus for a hotel room for my birthday this year. Let’s wait and see as to how the gym thingy works out haha.

One year ago, as I was reading my blog, I was also lamenting about friends and all that. In my own words, I used the phrase, ‘puny human beings’ hahaha. Right now, I think I’m perfectly happy in the aspect of friends of course. Been spending time with most of my friends and I couldn’t be happier. Of course, in the group I’m still on my own but according to someone, its supposed to be better coz then you won’t be influenced by them and stick close to God. I hope so haha. It’s really hard to work with others when you can’t agree and when you’re on different wavelengths. Sigh. I’ll just keep on praying and hope I do the right things.

Hehe. About a month ago I also went for another of my friend’s wedding, Anisah from my sec sch, St. Theresa’s Convent. It was cool man!! Very grand. Indian Muslim. Held at ‘Futsing building’ in Serangoon road, but there were tons of people who kept coming, non-stop. When people finished eating, they had to vacate the tables so that the rest could eat. The wedding also brought our sec sch bunch of friends back together and we promised to meet again. Haha, I must say her wedding made me dream of how mine would be like. A chance to catch up and gather all my old friends. And it has to be in St. Theresa’s church, haha. And then a week later, I was thinking of mission work and nun hood and all those stuff. Haha. I guess I won’t know what God has planned for me, I just have to keep going and see how things go. But I know that mission work and social work would be what I wanna do. I would really love to help the poor. I don’t know if I could take care of them coz I cant take care of myself sometimes even, but I do know that I can reach out to people. I think that’s one of my gifts.

I think I’m also kinda good at organising hehehe. My auntie, who’s a nun and who shares the same name as me, recently wrote to me, coz I told her of the stuff I was doing in church. She told me that she met me when I was 3years old and even then I was organising the whole family to eat at McDonalds. Haha. Yeah, guess I like to do that.

And also, looking back, I was also reading that I wrote I couldn’t understand what I was doing ‘here’ when I felt like I wasn’t doing anything. Right now I so called am able to do things but I feel like I ain’t doing nothing as well. Sigh. If I don’t do something soon I guess I’ll just be disappointing God. :o(

Oh yeah, you know, yesterday one of my colleagues suddenly saw my ‘bright purple leopard skinned bag’ and she started laughing non-stop!!! Haha… I’m serious… she was like laughing like drunk like that (no offence, haha but that would be how I would describe it :oP) and she said, “I heard someone mentioning about your bag but I didn’t know what they meant until I saw it now”… and I was like, what, what did they say, who said it, but she couldn’t stop laughing hahaa…. I guess probably someone said something bad or kiddy about my bag. But my other colleagues told me that other person probably won’t be able to dare carry off that kinda bag. And I think so too. I don’t really care about what people think when it comes to this. As far as I’m concerned, I think I’m pretty fashionable and I think I’ve got good dress sense ;o) (when I stop being sloppy that is… oops… keke)

Lately, my colleagues and I have been talking about guys a lot!!! Haha!!! Shucks. And I feel like I gotta get a guy just so that I can talk to them about something. But seriously I can’t be bothered. I mean, I’m happy right now and I don’t think I have time for a relationship unless the guy is from work or church which is where I spend my time the most. But because of the image that getting to know new people, or rather, new guys, that my colleagues portray as ‘fun’, I think I must just try my best to do so. Yeah, I mean, then what, are you going to talk to them about work the whole time. Haha. One year ago, I also mentioned that I liked someone. I still like that someone. But I think its more of an admiration kinda thing. Not lovey dovey kind. Hahaha. Well, we’ll see how it goes. Right now my priority in prayers is to be Christ like and to find my vocation in life. I also realise that one year ago I was still struggling in my faith journey and balancing stuff in life. I think right now I’m pretty okay. I just gotta find my vocation quickly as life is pretty mundane now. Oh, and tomorrow I’m leading praise! And I’ll probably be playing the guitar!! Will my wish finally come true? Will I finally be able to lead praise and worship and play the guitar at the same time? Hehe… I guess we’ll find out soon…

Upcoming Activities:

1 October – Family reunion with relatives from Aussie, Clubbing at Dblo
2 October – Feast Day mass
4 October – Steamboat at Suntec
8 October – Philip’s birthday
14 October – Leading Praise
15 October – Night Safari

Living the full life that I always wanted keke…and….

Gym, gym and more gym as well… haha, we’ll see if I’ll have prominent abs in a month’s time!!! Keke… adios and God bless.

Love,
Marie