Its been a super duwah FANTASTIC week!!!

Thanks to my colleaugue for letting me use her pc, (with internet access) thus I am able to post this hehe

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6 October 2005 - Thursday

Hi everyone,
I’m baack!! Heh. It’s been quite an eventful week.
Well, from where I left off –
Oct 1, we had our family reunion. It was fantastic. Everyone was there, with the exception of Angeline and family. When I first came out of the lift (as my bro’s flat is just beside the lift), everyone was gathered at the outside where there was tables and all so I was like, ‘hi everyone, hi auntie’ and just rushed in. Then I heard my mom calling, ‘marie, see who’s following you’, I turned and saw my little 2 year old niece Tricia running after me hehe… so sweet!! What a nice welcome. Just the day before, my nephew Philip had a nightmare and he called us, after some time speaking to my mom he asked for me. I tell you my little sunshines really make my world.

Well, as for the relatives part I was a little shy. As one whole table was occupied, I ate with my mom at the other table then I went in and sat in the house. My mom commented that the relatives were saying me and my sister was so shy. I was like, “arrgghh I want to talk to them but I don’t know what to say!” I think I always have that problem. I like talking to people but I gotta break the ice first and its so hard. Well, I told myself I gotta take the plunge or I will miss the chance and regret it. Furthermore I told myself I love chatting and cathing up with peeps so I better go lah. So I pushed myself out of my comfy sofa seat and took a plate of dessert and plonked myself on the seat in the midst of my cousins Sharon, Wayne, Chris, Aaron and Theo. It was good… hehe…

Then after that I went to play with my niece for a while, caught up with my auntie and cousin again, took a family pic as well…. Wow, just the other day the taxi driver was telling me his family has all the races, I wanted to tell him mine too!! Hehe… Chinese, Eurasian, Indian, even ang moh. Wait till you see the pics that I took with my cousins – the ones from Australia. Felicty, 16 and Lauren, 9. Felicity was just a little girl, 3 years old when I last saw her. Now she’s so tall!! And she really looks like an Aussie. Coz my mom’s sister married an Aussie man, my uncle Mike. And I really like that Lauren. She was the first one I said hello to when I enetered the house. And I later found she took a liking to Tricia, and the best thing was, she is only 9 and I could see that she really ‘likes’ ‘loves’ Tricia so much (even though they met each other on that day only) that she really took good care of Tricia, as in making sure she didn’t fall, playing with her and all.. I was really impressed. She does gymnatics in Aussie and is on the national level, probably will go internatiomal next year and I really like her laugh. I think the all enjoyed themselves, which was great hehe :o) and my Uncle Mike was telling me that I am pretty and that he will introduce some Aussie guys to me!! Haha! Great fantastic… of course I didn’t know how to reply but I just smiled… shucks.. I lost the chance right. But I was surprised he thought I was pretty. Coz there are many other Indian girls who are prettier, long hair, etc etc… perhaps he hasn’t seen that many Singaporean girls yet… but it was flaterring I tell you!! Boosts confidence keke :o)

The day before I led praise. Shucks, I really wanted to play and sing but all my plans went awry. Sorry guys, I know some of you wanted to hear me play the guitar!! Unfortunately all the songs I chose were in the key that people could not sing in, in the end left to Nandee to play. And also, I just felt that everyone was very down, and lost in their own worlds right from the start. After singing the first song I decided to go with my instincts and liven everyone up by getting everyone to stand in a circle, pray and then sign of peace and back to praise. I think it was ok lah. I think next time I will pray to be louder. I guess, the only time that will be alright will be when I truly surrender to God coz right now, I don’t know why, there’s still a teensy weensy part of me that does not let go. Sigh :o(

Anyway, arranging the dunking machine to be returned is so difficult. Lots of to and fro. Why is co-ordination so difficult. Anyway, Sunday feast day mass was great!! I carried the youth banner with Annette and Eugene!! Whoppee!! And Eugene actually came down to church to help us with the dunking machine but in the end stayed for mass. I had a great time talking with Shaun, Eugene, and later Ivan and Jon Chua. Haha… I really like talking to people and reaching out I guess.

Oh yah, Saturday night I went to DBLO again. Shocking I tell you! Haha! I did not drink so much this time, I made sure of it as I did not want to be tipsy again and be in control. The dancing part was fun. Me and my friend had encounters with guys. My friend actually. The first time, these 2 crazily drunk guys wouldn’t stop hounding her. They were hugging each other as well. I think totally knocked out. Then when we were in the dance floor, this ang moh guy came to dance with us. Haha! I saw another ang moh guy and really wanted to get to know him but unfortunately, my friend does not like ang moh guys and she left the dance floor and I followed suit. Just as well I guess, the guy was getting to cosy. And then at the last dance my friend really shocked me!! Haha… shan’t say what happened… but I guess, alcohol can really influence a person. Which brings me to ask myself the same question, is this what I really want. It was what I wanted some time back but now that I have it, is this what I really want.

Upcoming Itinerary:

Oct 8: Philip’s Birthday 4pm, DBLO
Oct 21: Leading Praise
Oct 29: Clubbing, Halloween night

10 October 2005 – Monday

Hello…. I’m baaaccck…. And I had a superb, FANTASTIC week and I can’t wait to share it with you all!! Hehehe….

I chose God twice this week over other stuff. I couldn’t be happier. And I realise that it gets easier over time. Well, on Wed morning I had to planned to go to the gym. Well, you know after signing up and paying so much it would be wasted if I did not go. Anyway, I received a call from Francis in the morning that there would be a talk at St. Ignatius on ‘Music from heaven or hell’ and they would be going. Oops. Dilemma. Could not answer him on the spot. After I hung up I was like ‘arrrggghh’ should I waste my money and skip gym or should I go to gym and miss an interesting talk… dilemma dilemma…. In the end I thought, please God, let my mom come home from work before going to church so that I could ask her… and I would take that as my answer. By late afternoon I had sorta decided already. I would go for the talk. Coz if I went for the gym, I would probably spend my time thinking on how the talk went and be unhappy. Whereas so what if I wasted the money. I don’t think I would regret it that much. But I still had to call my mom as I had prayed that I would follow what she says and take that as what Im suppose to do. Hehe.. and she told me to go for the talk. Later I found out that it was actually a prayer group, so there were some nice P&W as well, and then the talk was very interesting. Do you realise that if you play Popeye’s song backwards it gives you a different meaning? Horrors of horrors. And many other songs and stuff as well. I realise that some things I rather not know. Id rather be innocent and oblivious to the bad stuff of the world rather than know them as it will change your life forever. But one thing about the people of the church, they were so friendly!!! Almost every single one of them came up to talk to us. Something to learn from yah. And the church was on my way to work!! Just have to walk in… along Farrer Road there… can take 855. I couldn’t believe it… pass there everyday but didn’t know that there was a church inside. Next time can go for mass there after work hehehe.

And the second time I chose God was on Saturday. Me colleagues had planned to go clubbing to DBLO again!! Haha, yeah coz we would not be able to go again until the end of the month. At first I was undecided coz the next day had to go church early as was going to see Clement. Also, had Philip’s birthday at 4pm. In the end, I thought I’d go and just leave the place early. But come Friday I was pretty unsettled. I started thinking, twice in a row, do I really wanna go drinking and dancing and all that, do I really want a repeat of the previous week… I was thinking no.. I thought what Id rather do was go to church and play the guitar and pray. Yup, so I had more or less decided… and then on Saturday, during work, I was basically coordinating the return of the dunking machine instead of working. Chialat. And then I stayed back at work to complete some stuff, but by the time I was on my way back home I was exhausted. I was thinking only 6 hours of sleep, surely I won’t be able to make it clubbing and church the next day. I would probably fall sick and I didn’t want that. In the end I told my friends that I would be too tired to go. In the end also, I did not go church as planned, as my brother was sending me and my mom back, my mom found out my intention and started you know, its so late, you know what happened previously in the church grounds, my goodness I quickly said Ill go home instead. later my bro nag even worse. Just as well anyway, I was pretty tired by then. Played with my little nephew and niece and I was SOOOOOOO HAAAAAPPPPY. When I first came in, Tricia sat on my lap for close to half and hour I think watching TV. Sooo heavenly cuddling her. Then Philip came in with his friends and I played hide and seek with them. My goodness, a little girl whom I don’t know even came out and took me by the hand and told me to come in and find them. I was so surprised at how fast they made friends. I like little kids a lot but I know I can’t be a childcare teacher. I don’t know how to handle kids lah. A bit scary… sometimes its so fun to play with them but you always gotta be conscious that they do not fall or hurt themselves other ways. I lazed around a bit and ate and then later in the evening I talked to one of the mothers, also a Filipino I think Luz’s friend. So surprising coz I’ve seen her once before, but when she came in on Sat, I just smiled at her and later I asked her if she had eaten already. And that was it. She was just sitting down and I was sitting down on the sofa then suddenly she started talking to me. Amazing right. Her name was Chickie and we had a pretty nice conversation I was so happy. Then later I played somemore with Philip and another kid Xavier with some balloons and then they were shooting me and got rough. In the end, time for the last kid to go home. Time to open presents, Philip was one lucky boy… tons of pressies… then time to sleep… Philip gave me a humongous kiss and hug and it was like his lips were permanently fastened onto my cheek… for a min or so…wow…and Tricia kept saying, ‘you sleep with me’… I was like sorry dear I cant coz I have to go church in the morning you can sleep with mommy and daddy and I’ll come again and see you soon and my mom even told me that earlier in the morning Tricia was asking only about me and whether and when I was coming. I was ssssssooooooo happy I tell you. *sigh*

Oh, and I forgot to add, on Friday afternoon I was out of the office. We actually had an ‘ACTIVE Day’ for staff, whereby some of us (not all unfortunately) could go for some health tests and also a mass workout and all that. At first I wasn’t going, but then since I was part of the Fairmily News committee and the person on charge could not go, she asked me if I could. It wasn’t a problem with my manager, so I was allowed to. I was a bit apprehensive since no one from my department was going, but I thought its okay.. just go and make friends and have fun. Later I asked a lady, Cindy, I knew from Finance department whether I could go to the place with them and so I joined them. Fantastic I tell you… I got to know a whole bunch of pretty great ladies from the Finance department!! Brenda, Dorothy, Jenny, just to name a few. And those that I already knew, I got to know better as we talked a bit and I even went back with one of the ladies on the MRT home. Fantastic. I think next time there are such events I’m gonna go as it’s a fantastic chance to get to know people. Also got to know Kavitha from IT. And talked to other pple as well. Whoopppeeee!!!!! Plus point: I got to take those health tests. Got the height and weight (which is always never accurate, either you shrink or grow taller, and alternate between the two haha), the blood test (glucose/cholesterol thingy I think) which I was a bit squeamish about, yeah I know, Im a big baby, but which was okay in the end. The blood pressure test. Oh yah, and also the bone mass test by Anlene which people was saying that it costs $80 outside. They just put some cream on your ankle and this machine sorta squeezes your ankle. At first I didn’t want to take as queue was long and everyone was saying yeah, its mostly for the older people. But I was encouraged by Neetu to take and thank goodness I took coz I found out my bone was thinning… Goodness so scary!! Im so young!!! I gotta increase my calcium intake. They were saying weight bearing exercise helps too. That’s good coz I’m with the gym anyway heheh. Other than that, I’m a healthy woman!! Yeah!!! *Grins*
There was also a huge goodie bag with tons of Indocafe stuff and I was really happy coz I could pass them to my mom.

And at night, Praise was fantastic. It was what I was waiting for… a time to be with God. Im just praying that I will completely surrender in the future. And Ivan, Shaun and Eugene came as well!! Fantastic! And now, Kemmy can come too, coz she goes for piano earlier until end of the year!! Kewl!!!!
You know, looking back, God really answered my prayers. And he answered it in due time. If I could testify I would, in any case, that’s what my blog is for. I remember some time back, either last year or early this year, can’t remember exactly, I really felt that I did not belong, and I prayed that God would send me a cute guy to be my special friend in the youth. Or at least that things could be better. Coz I could not really click with the people that were there. Something to that effect. But I’m so surprised that right now, I can really click with Ivan, and Shaun, and even Eugene. I mean, at their confirmation camp I did not even talk to them much and Shaun not at all. And that Ivan and Shaun are so active at this point in time. Cathecists and youth. Seriously, when I look back at it, God answered my prayers!! In due time!! So people, take note, do not be disheartened. And I seriously think that this is a sign that there is gonna be a revival!!!!

Anyway, on Sun, the 3 of us went to see Clement and were attached with the classes immediately – me Sec 1 with Uncle Basil, Ivan Primary 6 and Shaun Primary 5. A bit scary sia. I mean, yah what, you’re a newbie and all eyes will be looking at you. At first I was just sitting down doing nothing. Then I walked a bit and made small talk with a few of them. And then Uncle Basil asked a group of girls to say the closing prayer and one part of the prayer, they said, ‘ thank you for a new teacher to look after us’… waah I was so touched, coz I did not even talk to that bunch. Im really gonna make more of an effort. I hope this really works out. Why the catechists? I was toying with the idea of the catechists for some time, but was thinking of the commitment, whether I was up to it, etc. However after the fun fair I decided that now was the time. I’m already with the youth for a year. The most is I have another year. I need another ministry to move on to, and also, catechists and the youth work hand in hand for some stuff so it would be better understanding if I’m with both. Also, I simply love the youth. Yup enough said hahaha. Thinking about this, and since the past few weeks, where I was thinking of mission work, thinking of vocations and all that, I think some of you may know as I wrote in my blog and also spoke to some pple about it. I was thinking I would love to help the poor, or become a nun, or do some stuff other than boring office job and customer service!!! GUESS WHAT!!! I’ve FINALLY REALISED WHAT I WANT TO DO IN LIFE!!!! I wanna do social work!!! YES!!! That’s it. I finally realised that this is what I wanna do and I will be truly happy. Can forget about the deejay thing already. Deejaying is fun, no doubt, but I don’t think I can serve God if I were to become a deejay. Yes, and I also know social work is tough and stressful and I also think I need a degree. But I truly think that this is meant for me and I will pray every single day from now forth that God will answer my prayers and give me some openings for this, and also if I could get into NUS (with my lousy poly grades) and that the funds would work out if I do coz then I would have top depend on my parents again… not very nice… but I’m just praying very hard coz I feel very strongly that this is my calling and I hope that things would work out, if not, to please show me what else. Please do join me in my prayers. Oh yeah, and what type of social work? Can you guess… keke… it would be with the youth. Yup, youth again. I would love to reach out to them and do something for them. But don’t give me technical stuff. Or creative stuff to think about. I’m kinda lousy with that. I felt kinda bad that I could not suggest anything to Aunty Loo for the Mission Sunday. This sorta thing I will need to sit down and think and think. I think its not my forte. I’m more of organising I guess. Yah, so please pray for me yah?

Oh, and I saw Letchumi aka Michelle for a short teensy weensy bit of while on Sun. Oh, and my cousin replied me from Aussie saying that she would visit us again in 2010 keke. Oh, and I got to learn a beautiful new song, ‘For All You’ve Done” and the chords!!! Whoopeee!!! (P.S. Really, really, really wanna be able to lead praise and play guitar at same time. Will practise and pray like mad keke… ) Oh, and another thing, I am going for a BBQ with Annetter Ralph and James this Tues!! Haha, I know Annette or perhaps one of you will probably read this as well, so its ok… but I just have to say this coz I was so surprised that I was invited.. first by Ralph then Annette… coz I mean, seriously I think the 3 of them click better among themselves then me included but yet they still asked me. Is this a sign from God or what. Anyway, my leave is approved so I’ll be joining them on Tues night, then I have Wed off as well, which I will join Aunty Shereen for P&W in her house. She invited me for that as well!! Whooppeee…. I think this has got to be the best week ever. I’ve talked to the most number of people, both newly met and friends. I’m just so happy the things I’m doing and saying surprises myself. And its all because of God. Love you Jesus. I just hope I don’t ever, ever lose sight of you in this bad bad world. God bless everyone!!! LOVE YA!!!!