Love you Jesus

This is what happens... when I sleep too much... I am unable to sleep. (coz I got work tomorow)

1.20AM

And when I sleep too little, I suffer from headaches, etc. You know the other day... I lacked sleep... and I was sneezing non-stop... I was trying my very best to control myself... coz soemtimes, with lack of sleep you tend to get irritated (or in my case, sprout nonsense)... and talking to some customers was getting on my nerves... even though they were not nasty. Luckily I managed to still be nice!

Read an article today, and previously, about how in Britain they encourage afternoon naps. So that they wake up refreshed and more productive. They say an ideal nap is 15mins. Anything more and the body lapses into a deep sleep. too bad Singaporean companies don't have the same thinking. Of allowing employees to have afternnon naps. Muahaha. I used to do it at lunch time, but I've stopped. Better not.. people keep walking about... and also, my lunch time not fixed... 12-1 or 1-2. They may think I'm slacking.

I did not go work today. First day of that girly thingy.. and me kena cramps. And also, I've been having a terrible cold thats been going on for ages. Even my colleagues noticed it. I think its the aircon. Last year when I went to Australia also like that. Non stop running nose. Could not really enjoy. In the morning or just after a shower also I kena. Non stop sneezing. And amazingly after work it stops. Hahaha. But yesterday and today it became worse. I used up more than one roll of toilet tissue (no more normal packet tissue)... so... went to the doc and told him the problem. He said its a nose allergy. Forgot to ask him allergic to what. He said I better take care, else it triggers my asthma. You know what, I think I'm gonna keep on going back to my doctor, even though he's not under my company's list of registered doctors and I can get free medical consultations and medicine if he was. Coz a while back, I decided to go check out my company doc, which is in the same block as my current family doctor. Also wanted to see what the fuss was all about. This clinic opened recently, and ever since it opened, always got queue, wonder why. After my visit, I'm still wondering whats the big deal. I paid $18 (my family doc is $21), received only 5 miserable tablets (my family doctor gives one whole stripe - around 12 tablets) and when I looked at the tablets, I almost had a shock - it was expiring end of this year... just now checked my family doc's one - expiring in 2007/2008. So if you are reading this, don'y eevr visit HL Clinic at Blk 9 Telok Blangah Crescent. I think maybe pple go there coz the doc is a woman? In fact I heard that this doc was actually under my doc...until they decided to branch out on their own. They supposedly charge 'cheap' medicine that take a longer time to cure you and judging from how much tablets they give, you'll prabably keep going back and thus end up spending more.

Ok I think I wrote an essay on this. Hahahah.

The past few days I went shopping!!! Whoohooo... pressies for people... bought from Watsons. I love watsons. All the christmassy stuff. And got wrapping service too. So happy. Now I have to go shopping for clothes. :D Tomorow we'll get our annual wage supplement! Whoohoo... just nice bonus in time for Christmas... It doens't mean I'm rich though... You shouldn't be a miser, but neither should you be a spendrift... I've always hated borrowing money from people or lending money to people..from young I've been like that... calculative? This is bad huh.. I guess because since young, my mom has never given me abundance of money... like just enough for food, neccesities... but never much extra for enjoyment...I don't know... and I've always have a bad impression of people who borrow money and never return... pretending to forget or they really forget.. oh well... I've leanrt along the way to not worry, lift it up to God... like the other time the taxi driver cheated me $1 dollar (so pissed!!!) but I've also learnt, never to let people cheat you, or be taken advantaged of... I mean, true, they will have to answer, but even then.. its not right....so I will be more alert next time!... Although I find it difficult lending people money... I've always taken joy in spending money on people... especially people whom I love and whom I think deserve it... besides, I also believe that I won Bingo the other time at Family Day for a reason... like there was a message... you've been given many blessings... do share with others....

By the way, thank goodness I saw Karen online just now. Was beginning to get worried, thought what happened to her, did not reply emails all that. Coz she was unable to connect to the net. She'll be coming back from Aussie in Jan.

Lets go on to my favourite topic. GOD!!! :D :D :D
I keep falling in love with him more each and every day. I look forward to going back home to spend time in personal prayer with him, and I never used to do this before!! :D :D Sigh. (of happiness) And I can't believe that he talks to me too. I used to wonder how he talks to people and wonder how come he never talks to me. Last week was amazing. I was talking to Jock about something, can't remember exactly what. Think I was worrying about what people think. And then Jock mentioned 'dont worry about those who can hurt your flesh, worry about the one who can throw you in hellfire' or something like that!! Ahh, I remember what I was worried about. I was irresponsoble.. it was past 10pm and I was still in the youth room playing table soccer until Uncle Roland came up to call us. And then I went back home, opened 'The Word Among Us" saw soemthing like 'do not be afraid' decided to read the bible passage and it was exactly what Jock said.

LUKE 12 1-7
DO NOT BE AFRAID OF THOSE WHO KILL THE BODY AND AFTER THAT CAN DO NO MORE. FEAR HIM WHO, AFTER HE HAS KILLED, HAS THE POWER TO CAST INTO HELL.

And don't worry about being cast into hell, because if you do nothing wrong, and if you love him, why would he want to cast you into hell? :D

Amazing. he was speaking to me!! I still have a long way to go though. Coz I'm still afraid of surrendering completely. :( :S I don't know why... He is such a beautiful God, he won't hurt me, he won't force me and I don't know why I'm afraid. I gotta do something about this.

I was just thinking to myself just now, what if I can't do it... what if I'm doing a task with someone, and that someone does better than me. In fact I shouldn't be worrying about this. And then the thought suddenly came into my head, 'He has given you gifts and talents, use it! ' Whoohoooo.... which is true... he has!!!!!! I've learnt increasingly to leave everything into his hands, because I know that he loves me, and he wants the best for me. He can make the darkest day bright. He can make EVERYTHING alright. And why would he want the children he LOVES to suffer. In fact I truly believe that everything will be all right. Just continue to pray, put all your faith and trust in him and the miracle will happen.

Of course I've had my fair share of falling. Like last week. when I was irresponsible. There was a time where I even got despressed. I wanted so much not to sin and yet I failed. I guess the important thing is not to dwell on it, admit you're wrong and try not to do it again. of course I'm still afraid that if I fall I will lose hope in Him and think that he is disappointed with me. I'm very afraid of straying. And I pray every single day that should I fall I will pick myself right up again and carry on.

I love you Lord and I pray with all my heart for you to hear my prayer and I believe that you will, and it will be for the good of all.

Work has been good recently, with the exception of my cold. He has been taking care of me. I've been able to cope. Even though I'm in charge of the most stressful feedback channel - The General Feedback email where most COMPLAINTS come from. Just yesterday I spent almost the whole day laughing non-stop with my colleaugue about little things like 'kueh bulu'... bulu actually means private hair... :S And I've been going out quite often to eat!! Wonderful.

and stuff like, sending emails and writing funny stuff... like a customer wrote an email, and specifically said, 'DONT LAUGH' I sent it to her and wrote, 'HAHAHAHAHA'... and etc etc... I mean, its hard to see that its funny, based on what I've written, but we've had our good times... so much so, we look at each other and just burst out laughing. :D... oh yeah and some customers are really funny too. Like this woman, Ah Mui, who will keep on calling us and rattle off soem nonsense about trolleys. 'hey have you collected the trolleys already?' 'your staff so rude they hang up the phone on me' and she speaks so fast!! and she can recognise us too. Or this old customer, who keeps calling and asking for me, and who is hard of hearing. They all disturb me, saying, 'hey your boyfriend called looking for you! You want to go toilet? I'll stall him!' 'He's still holding on the line!' Hahahah...:D

Thinking about deejaying for New Year has gotten me excited again - about deejaying as a career. Hmm.... wonder when it will happen... and I believe that it will happen, when He wants it to happen for me :) Actally I think the reason why I got this job... is to learn.. learn how to speak to all kinds of people.. learn to be more mature, responsible, handle situations... and this will help me to deejay won't it? :) In fact, everything that has happened so far, especially within the last 6 months... has happened for a reason... His reason... his plans for me... I shall just continue... leaving my life in His hands - ie... complete faith and trust in following Him and living my life for him, and I KNOW everything will be just fine HURRAYYYYYYYYY LOVE YOU GOD!!!!!

~2.27AM

Me will be sleeping in a hammock!!! Tied one end to the doorknob, the other to the window grill. :D Coz I wanna throw away my bed. Besides i love the hammock. Hope I don't fall down in the middle of the night though :S