Nunhood...

Its not fair... I was so happy... I was and am still in love... with none other than God... but I broke his heart again... I wonder why these things happen... I try my best, but is it not enough? Its so painful I feel like dying... I feel like all is lost... I'm only human I guess... but it is possible not to sin is it not? I think I will join the religious and become a nun.. a secluded nun better... maybe the Carmelites...that way I can avoid human contact, thus avoiding sin and devote myself to God...I feel terrible.. God please help me.. don't leave me... this is the last thing I had wanted to do...