The Hardest Thing....

THE HARDEST THING

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

Chorus:
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion When you start to cry
I can't let you see What you mean to me
When my hands are tied And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away Pretending I don't love you

I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
There can be no happy ending

Chorus

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
(Ooh)
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

Chorus

I don't want to live a lie
What can I do

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The Aftermath.....
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The hardest thing I'd ever had to do...
Is to look you in the eye, and tell you I don't want this
The hardest thing I'd ever had to say
Was that we are not meant for each other right from that dayT
he hardest thing I'd ever had to lie
Was to say that we might be together someday, sometime
Baby you deserve better than this
So please let your mind think and not let your heart get pissed....:(
Sigh... its so easy.. to just turn around, and say,
I'd want you back...
Its so easy... to be in your arms again, to feel your embrace
But what my head is wanting, my heart is struggling..
I'd never had to be more strong willed in my entire life
And yet it still cuts like a knife..

But I know I'm gonna be alright
And believe it or not, you will be too
A little bit of short term pain
Reseulting in maturity and true happiness gained
Will do better good
Than short term bliss
With long term suffering in the pits
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Today went to see Harry Potter again! Lol, this time was fully awake and managed to enjoy the movie. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that yesterday, finally the boss - the manager - Mr Tay - got reminded of me, and spoke to me again.. seems the HR job is no longer available, coz the person who quit wanted to come back.. so whats left is a chief cashier job.. only thing is, I have to wait another week and then get back to him, and there is 2 rounds of interview... plus shift work and all that... but I still very much want to be active in church... dunno how, maybe I'll call the agency? Haha... my career has become secondary this past few weeks.. too occupied..

Have yet to see Troy... dunno if I'll ever see it.. I might as well watch it alone, but it ends past midnight and I don't wanna sit alone on the cab back... so we'll see how.. also another thing I have to get clear... if you think I'm rich, I'm most certainly not... you may be 'richer' than me... I only get about $400 a month? And immediately, $100 goes to the bank for my poly loan, another $100-150 for my handphone and internet bill, which remains only about $200, which when you think about it, how to survive? Transport, food, sundries, etc.. I barely survive till the end of the month, sometimes even taking 'loans' from my mom... so do not think that I'm rich, just because I seem to be extra generous, or, go to more than a couple of movies. Thank you... and yes, next time I will be more firm...if I dont want to do something (that might make me spend money unnecessarily) I am going to say no, and not yes just so that I can be part of the group, or liked by you. Thank you for your kind understanding. Haha!

Oh yeah, the other day got pillion ride from church to TB from Jock.. pretty cool.. was kinda scared at first, considering I only went once 3 years back, and that time, dunno why I was scared? But this time was really shiok!!! Felt comfortable and yeah, actually didn't have to hold on.. although I thought better not be too smart alecky and take my arm away from the support.. haha :PWhich brings me to the topic, I really hope tomorow I can go cycling!!! Tomorow I'm going to meet Sebastian!! Yayyy... in the morning, boy, we sure have lots to catch up, then after that, with Letchmi, and thats when I hope we can go cycling. Really need to excercise, cycling would be good, also, cycling is one step away for me to learn how to ride :D :DAnd if I can get contacts (I was very scared at first) I sure can learn how to ride.. whoopee...Till that day, cheers... and God Bless always.

Love,Marie