God loves me!!!

November 26, 2005 11.10am

Yesterday was yesterday. I fell sick :(

I was actually sneezing for the past few days already and Thurs night I drank some cold drinks and I think it aggravated my flu :( coz when I woke up my nose was flowing and this turned into a terrible sore throat and block nose, its pretty painful how a simple flu could be. I found this very distracting as the last thing I wanna do is fall sick. Furthermore, being sick and in pain tends to make one, or me rather, irritatable and thus I lost the gift of joy and happiness that the Holy Spirit had been granting me recently. I was pretty irked about it. Anyway, after drinking some hot chrysanthemum I felt better.

Then I went to church, and there was no one in the adoration room so I went in… and immediately… I was blasted with the overwhelming presence of God and all his goodness and joy and happiness!!! WOW. It was just so amazing. I was seriously “blasted”, that was the word. Tears of joy just came to me…, I was laughing and giggling and on cloud 9. Haha, this proves that God is truly present in the Eucharist. Anyway, I was just so amazed coz I was feeling sick and in pain and all that and one moment in His presence took it all away and the feeling of joy was tremendous, I could go on and on… :)

And then afterwards someone said something to me that really struck my heart. I couldn’t answer his question because I wasn’t aware of what I was doing; simply because I had let go and was praising and worshipping God. Was I wrong to do that. It really affected me because the last thing I wanted to do was to affect someone’s moment with God just because of something I did which wasn’t intentional. I’m sorry if I couldn’t hold my emotions as I’m only human. But I went back home and I started to cry. That was all I could do anyway. No one to talk to as usual, except God and all I could do was cry to Him and tell Him that I was playing for Him. I was simply playing for Him and it just hurt so bad. Is it wrong to play for Him :(

I was thinking that in moments like this when I so much want to hear His voice talking to me but I don’t think I would, not in that state of despair and sadness that I was in.
And then the next instant in the midst of all my tears and sobbing I received an sms from my friend, saying the opposite of what the earlier person said earlier and believing in me. God had sent an angel to comfort me!

Just when I was telling Him I could not hear His voice not when I was in that state I was! I picked up my guitar and just started praising Him and looking at His Sacred Heart picture and adoring Him in my heart. And my sadness was turned to joy!!!

I was just so amazed. I couldn’t believe at how fast He had comforted me, how He had immediately talked to me this time round after I told Him that I wouldn’t be able to hear His voice, and how much He loves me to change my sadness into pure joy again; and in an instant; only God is capable of such. I’m just so amazed at the depth of His love. My puny mind couldn’t comprehend how He could love a sinner such as me. Yeah, and this is what I have to testify… of how God comforted me… and He will to you to…. Just cling steadfast to Him… never ever let Him go… this reaffirmed my faith in Him… coz of the amazingly speed in which He lifted me out of my sorrows… and once again, I am reassured… that all I ever need is Him, all I ever want is Him, all I’ll ever love is Him, and that He is the only one who truly loves me and I never ever want to let Him down. Praise GOD AMEN HALLEUJAH!!!!

And the song that came to me… was the song below… and of course, as I was adoring Him, my own song, God you are Amazing, came to me as well.. and I felt fantastic that I had my own special song for my dear God.

I can’t believe the way your love has got a hold on me
Each morning I wake to find you near
You lift me above my fears and set my feet on solid ground
All of my days belong to You…

And I breathe in Your breath of life that fills my heart
You are my all consuming fire

And I stand here before You in wide open wonder
Amazed… at the glory of You
The power of heaven revealing Your purpose in me
As I’m reaching for You…