Much Happier...

Hihi...

Just a quick sharing before I go and sleep.

Much, much happier today. Today during lunch I called Amilia. Told her that only me was able to help and whether its ok. She was like, 'one person means alot!' and I was happy... so tomorow I'll be meeting the people from CAYC. I wonder what I'll be going to do.. but this sorta things don't really matter.. coz I know that I'll be happy. Come to think of it, Jesus is really good to me. When I first started out after the election.. I started going to youth websites and checking it out and all that. One of the websites I visited was CAYC - Catholic Association Youth Council (If i got it correct). I think they are like the main Catholic group for youths in Singapore. I mean like the overall... you know, individual churches have their own groups, this one is like for the whole country like that I think. And I was thinking, perhaps our group can join their activities and we can get to know them and stuff. Then I got busy with other stuff and put that thought aside.

Haha... suddenly last Sun.. bro brought this up to us.. said that St. Theresa's Convent was having a retreat and CAYC was in charge. CAYC was like unfamiliar.. coz I kinda forgotten about it. I knew it would be good to help out but the problem is, how to convince the group in such a short notice. Haha. In the end called Amilia (one of the coordinators) on Tues.. and asked whether they needed help, and they did. All the more why I thought would be great to help out. You know, just helping out fellow humans, the very essence of just purely helping pple in need. And this one we could learn something too. But then of course there were doubts about helping out, normal ones that I would have too.. like what would be expected of us to do, we have our own P&W on Fridays (it was a Fri & Sat thingy), so few of us helping out. So in the end decided not too. Was slightly disappointed, coz I thought we could help out as a group. Like a bunch of us from St. Theresa's Youth Group, the 'on' pple. Haha. But oh well. And then we met Brother after our meeting, who was like, 'y, this would be good, its not often they come to our retreat centre, next time they would be able to help you out too'... so in the end, we would be helping out again.. but only for sat coz fri was P&W. In the end, Amilia said they needed help for Fri. Okie.. haha... from about 8pm onwards... I somehow knew that most of us would not be able to make it on Fri and that turned out to be the case. However as I was sitting at the front of the church on Wed before praying, I decided that.. no matter what, I would still help... and I was very happy that Amilia said that I was welcome to! Haha... in a way, I was happy coz firstly, I was not dependent on the group... independent in decision making for myself.. secondly, I won't be losing out or regreting a thing, for myself in that matter. We have P & W every Friday. I love to meet new people and haven't been getting the chance to do so recently. This would be a great learning opportunity and furthermore, its pple from CAYC!!! Yayyy... it's like Jesus remembered and knows what I was thinking before (to get this contact) and he provided me with the perfect opportunity, right in my lap. I did not have to go all out to get the contacts for CAYC, it was given to me. Kewl right. And in future, this contact will help us for the youth group. We'll see how tomorow goes. Praise the Lord. I know Jesus loves me no matter what. Just going through a difficult time right now. Jesus will you be helping me.... I feel so alone. Sigh.

Anyway later on after work I had a GREAT time!!! I was really so happy... of course, not as happy as when I'm in God's presence being consoled by him, but almost as good hahah... I met up with Karen!!! Yeah, one of my best buds. Hmm, lemme see... it was a girl's night out. We went to Suntec to eat dinner at the food court... then.. walk walk.. checked out Mango... etc etc.. then we went Esplanade... and went to 'Max Brenner' chocolate by the bald man... haha.... we sat there for quite some time as the choc drink we had was pretty thick and we had trouble finishing it.. but what I loved about the outing was.. that we just spent time... sitting and talking... and later on in the bus too... and not one time did I think of the church work that I had to do. Wonderful. Yeah, that's the thing that has been troubling me lately. It was perfect just now. Coz we shared alot of things in common, and this is just the thing that I like to do, go out at night, check out the shops, walk walk, sit in some cosy place and talk. Perfect. And I got next week to look forward to, going out with her again. Boy, am I gonna miss her and be even more lonely when she goes back to Aussie. Sigh. Well I guess I have Seb and Mai.. but you guys seem so busy like that. I think the moral of the story here for me is, try not to worry myself and go out and enjoy amidst my busy schedule. Yeah. Coz I need that break once in a while. Sigh... I hope things work out. Right now I'm just bearing with things bcoz... I wanna do God's will and answer God's call for me. Yeah I admit I'm not exactly very happy :( Not with the responsibilities part. But with the situations I'm in, with how Im handling them, (not very well I guess) with the work that is there to be done but seems to be going nowhere. I guess it's never easy ain't it. Sobsob. Remind myself again - why am I doing this? Only for you Jesus. Coz I love you. I know ultimately I will be happy... coz ultimately I'll be doing his will. But the road is never easy I guess. Till I be with you.. in heaven.. can't wait man Jesus... haha... Good night...

Love, & God bless,
~ Marie